“Hey Mister?” A young man called to me the other day. “If you could have three super powers, what would they be?”
“WOW!” I thought to myself. I haven’t thought about my super powers in decades. It was unbelievable how they faded, but back when I was in the service I had all the super powers a young man needed. I could open my knife with a flick of my wrist, spit real far, and open things using only the power of some four letter words I learned. However, just before I answered, he added some stipulations.
‘They gotta be something fresh.” He said. Then he got this far away look in his eyes, squinting as if he could barely see it. It worried me. “It’s gotta be something new, that nobody has heard of before.”
“Got’em!” I said.
I could tell from his expression that he was shocked, and a bit disappointed that I came up with them so quickly.
“Well?” He asked in youthful anticipation, as I took a refreshing sip from my iced tea.
“I would like to be able to cast my fly line, just… a little bit further.” His confused stare seemed to indicate that I was way off base; and thinking that perhaps he had heard about my poor casting skills, I fessed up.
“Okay, maybe a few feet further.”
“That’s not a super power!” He quickly hollered at me with his eyes clinched in frustration.
“Is so!” I hollered back. “Have you ever casted as far as you could, THEN try to cast farther?” I asked. “It’s all ABOUT the super power.” I said as his jaw hung low in confusion. He recovered quickly, and with a calm voice asked.
“Fine, you get two more super powers. What’s next?”
“I want to walk on water.” I answered. To this the young man’s head spun around in two complete circles before stopping and casting a question.
“Why are you making these about fishing?”
“Are you kidding me?” I asked. “If I could cast a bit further, and be able to walk on water? Well then my problems would be solved. Shoot, I’d step out of the van…”
I paused in thought, realizing that I had chosen my final super power.
“I want to fly!”
No doubt the wild look in my eyes from my new-found mania caused him some concern, because I noticed him taking a step back as I began my rant.
“I could fly to the mountains, walk out onto the river, drop the line, and BAM! I got fish.”
As I started to whisper to myself how I could make it all work, the young man rolled his eyes shook his head and turned to walk away.
As he was nearly out of ear shot, it occurred to me that I would need something to carry all of my gear, and that I needed the van after all. However, knowing how concerned folks could be when a flock of pigeons dropped things from overhead, I realized I never asked for super strength to carry the thing.
I could just see it. If the citizens were concerned before wait until they see a fly fisherman streaking across the sky like the Greatest American Hero with sweaty palms, and a weak grip, trying to carry his van across the country on a weekend fishing trip.
Maybe it’s best left to the imagination.